The Morning Anxiety Sneaked In: A Small Practice That Made a Big Difference

Anxiety doesn’t always arrive loudly for kids. 

Sometimes it slips in quietly - during breakfast, in the middle of a normal conversation, or weeks before the moment we think they’ll struggle. 

That’s exactly what happened in our home. 

One weekend morning at breakfast, we were casually talking about upcoming plans. In a long list of events, I mentioned my daughter’s upcoming medical appointment which was still a few days away. The conversation moved on, breakfast ended, and we rushed into the day as usual. At the time, I didn’t notice anything was wrong. 

When Anxiety Shows Up in the Body 

A couple hours later my daughter had guitar practice, which my partner usually takes her to. On the drive to practice, she told him she had an upset stomach and wanted to go home. 

My partner texted me to explain what was happening, and I called them right away. 

Over time, I’ve learned that when my daughter feels anxious, her body often speaks first. A sore stomach is usually the signal. Anxiety doesn’t always show up at the moment we expect it - it can surface hours, days, or even weeks later, in unexpected places. 

Because of this, we’ve been practicing a grounding technique together called the 5-4-3-2-1 method, paired with an Adirey necklace she carries as a physical reminder. The goal is simple: to make sure she always has the tools to calm herself, even when I’m not there. 

So, when I called her, the first thing I asked was, 
“Do you have your necklace with you?” 

This time, she didn’t. 

When the Tool Isn’t There - but the Skill Is 

Instead, I asked her if she remembered the steps we practiced each night. She said yes, but she sounded scared. 

I asked her if she could teach the steps to my partner. I think that shifting her focus onto an important job to do – teaching the exercise to her step-dad – helped her move away from feeling stuck in her worries. She agreed to try and I told her that if it didn’t help, she could always call me back. 

She didn’t call again. 

Later that evening, my partner told me how she had walked him through the steps herself, and how it helped her calm down enough to attend her guitar lesson. 

That night, when I checked in with her, she shared what had been sitting underneath the anxiety all day: 
she was nervous about her upcoming appointment. 

We practiced the steps again that night, this time with her necklace, slowly and intentionally. 

When the day of the appointment arrived, she was still anxious. But this time, she was prepared. 

She used her necklace in the waiting room and practiced the 5-4-3-2-1 steps quietly to herself. She made it through the entire appointment without a panic attack. 

Not because the fear disappeared, but because she knew what to do when it showed up.  

Preparing for the Unexpected 

As much as we wish we could, we can’t always be there when our kids experience big emotions. That’s why having a process that helps slow them down and bring relief in tough moments is so valuable. 

Confidence comes from practice. 

When kids repeatedly experience, “I felt overwhelmed, and I knew what to do,” they begin to trust themselves, even in situations that feel scary. 

What Is the 5-4-3-2-1 Method? 

The 5-4-3-2-1 method is a grounding technique designed to slow the mind and gently redirect attention to the present moment. 

Anxiety often comes from feeling overwhelmed or out of control. This method creates a pause. A moment to breathe and reconnect with what’s real and safe right now. 

Before teaching it to your kids, try it yourself first. These are the same steps you’ll eventually guide them through: 

How I Introduced This Process to My Kids 

To make this tool feel natural and accessible, I started by practicing it myself - often. I wanted to feel confident with the steps before explaining them to my kids. 

Then, I introduced the process during a low-pressure time, when emotions were calm and we could build a routine. For us, that meant practicing together at night before bed.

 Each night, I would ask questions like: 
“What’s the first step?” 

My child would answer by naming the step and then doing it out loud: 
“I will name five things I can see. I see a yellow ball, a purple hat…” 

I stayed with her through the entire process, often asking follow-up questions to slow things down: 
“You can feel your sweater on your skin - what does it feel like?” 

This encourages intentional, mindful awareness rather than rushing through the steps. 

By practicing consistently - especially when stress is low - the process becomes familiar. And when anxiety arrives unexpectedly, the steps are already there, ready to use.