Why Social and Emotional Skills Are Important

Social and emotional skills are the building blocks of how we understand ourselves, relate to others, and handle everyday life. Children who learn these foundational skills early tend to get along in groups, speak up for themselves, take responsibility, and bounce back when things don’t go as planned.

Specifically, children with social and emotional skills can:

• Recognize and name their feelings
• Calm themselves when upset or overwhelmed
• Notice how others are feeling and respond with care
• Solve problems with words instead of aggression
• Build friendships and work through conflict

When children learn to manage their emotions, connect with others, and solve problems, they feel more confident and capable. In turn, these skills help children:

• Build strong relationships with family and friends
• Try new things and learn from mistakes
• Cope with frustration and disappointment
• Make safe, thoughtful decisions
• Feel a sense of belonging in their community

Strong social and emotional skills support children’s mental health, communication, and success across many areas of life. They are lifelong tools that help children grow into kind, capable, and resilient adults.

One research study, "Social–emotional learning profiles of preschoolers' early school success: A person-centered approach" by Denham et al. (2012) looked at how social and emotional skills appear in young children and how these skills relate to their success in school and relationships.

The researchers observed the children and used tests to measure:

• How well they recognized and understood emotions
• Their ability to control impulses and behavior
• How they solved problems with peers
• Their social behaviors in the classroom

Three Types of Social and Emotional Profiles

The study grouped children into three patterns or “profiles” based on how these skills showed up together, and found that

1. 43% of the children landed in a "Social Emotional Learning Risk Group"

Children in this group had trouble with many social and emotional skills. They often:

• Had difficulty managing their feelings and behavior
• Reacted with anger or withdrawal in social situations
• Showed less motivation and had more behavior challenges at school

2. 29% were categorized into a Social/Expressive Competent Group

These children had strong social and emotional skills. They:

• Understood emotions well and controlled their behavior
• Responded to conflicts with empathy and helpful solutions
• Were outgoing, engaged, and confident

3. 28% belonged within a Restrained Competent Group

Children in this group also had strong skills but were quieter and more reserved. They:

• Showed good self-control and emotion understanding
• Were less expressive in solving social problems
• Stayed calm, cooperative, and focused in class

Why Does This Matter?

The study showed that children with strong social and emotional skills, whether outgoing or reserved, were more successful in school and social settings. They participated more, had better relationships, and were more ready to learn.

By contrast, children in the Social Emotional Learning Risk Group had a harder time adjusting. They showed lower motivation and more behavior problems. This highlights the importance of helping all children build social and emotional skills early in life.

What Can Parents or Educators Do?

Supporting social and emotional skills doesn’t have to be complicated. Here are some simple ways to help young children develop these important life skills early on:

• Talk about feelings early and often
• Help children learn to name their emotions (“You look frustrated. Is that how you feel?”)
• Talk about your own emotions and how you manage them
• Teach calming strategies like taking deep breaths or asking for help
• Encourage solving problems with words, not actions
• Help children understand and care about how others feel

A Note on Limitations

While this study offers valuable insights, it’s important to note:

• The children were all from one region (Northern Virginia), which may limit generalizability.
• Some assessments had lower internal consistency, and teacher ratings—while useful—are based on personal observation.
• The study focused on early school years; long-term outcomes weren’t measured.

Final Thought

Kids learn social and emotional skills by watching us. Every moment—every meltdown, every hug, every tough conversation—is a chance to model calm, ask a curious question, or teach a better way to handle big feelings. Starting early can help us prepare our children for all aspects of their school experience. 

What we do every day becomes their inner voice tomorrow.

Link to full research article: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3294380/pdf/nihms-300820.pdf